CORRECTION: In my last post I stated that my friend had passed on September 12th. It was, in fact August 12th. The time seems to have run together.
Today, I received the news that Nancy and her husband are together again. Her husband joined her in heaven at 4am this morning, passing in his sleep. I am in a place of emotional confusion. I am sad because a life - a wonderful life - has ended too soon. I am relieved because the cancer had spread and my understanding is that the past few days were really awful. I am happy because husband and wife are together again. I am numb because this all happened so fast.
There is a photo on Nancy's facebook page of she and her husband 367 days ago. Halloween, 2008. Dressed as the members of KISS. Funny, happy, carefree. How could anyone have known that neither one of them would live to see the another Halloween. Of course we all know logically that another year is never guaranteed. But it still is a concept that is impossible to grasp.
I'm not sure how to end this. I'm not sure what else to say. I am so honored to have known both of these wonderful people. I am glad for them that they are together again. I am somehow changed by the cruelty of the whole situation. But I am choosing now to reflect on the memories I have of them younger, healthier and so completely in love with each other.
~ When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure. ~
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
If I was you - i'd fire me.
*SIGH*... I am terrible at this. It's funny because I have my list of blogs that I read every.single.day. I rely on them as a part of my morning routine. And when they don't get updated for more than a period of several days, I get agitated. Then the little angel on my shoulder knocks on my skull - "Hey Dumbass! People in glass houses..." Yeah. I suck at blogging.
I suppose I can try to justify this by saying that I don't have much to share! Things are status quo, which, in many ways I am thankful for. I also know that there aren't many (if any) people reading my blog, so I don't feel much pressure to be interesting. Which is a relief.
Wedding-wise - the actual, honest-to-God end is in sight. I have about three thank you notes left to write. This weekend we have our album design meeting. Then it will all be done. I think i'll hold off on having babies just so that I can take a break from writing thank you notes! I kid, of course. We are so lucky to have such amazingly generous friends and family.
We are heading into the holiday season, which is the most exciting time of year for me. However, as anyone who has blended families knows, the splitting the holidays thing is difficult. It actually causes me an extraordinary amount of anxiety because I am so desperate to not hurt anyone's feelings. Hub is an only-child which complicates things exponentially. I have to keep reminding myself what my Dad always says when I get worked up about the holidays - "No one cares about this as much as you do." He's right, of course.
There has been some sadness in my time away. My dear friend Nancy, who was like a mom to me, passed away in September. The story is long and confusing and just tragic. Quick version - her husband was diagnosed with lung cancer last April. In May, Nancy was diagnosed as well, though it seemed that her prognosis was better than his. We prepared ourselves that we would likely lose him. They missed the wedding because Nancy was having surgery to remove her lung, which was supposed to remove the cancer all together. There was an infection that complicated things, followed by the discovery of a spot in her brain, which we were told could be removed. On September 12th in the morning I recieved an email that the cancer had spread everywhere. The doctors couldn't stop it and they gave her days, maybe weeks at best to live. She died at around noon that very day. It was incredibly, gut-wrenchingly tragic. Only to be made that much more tragic by the fact that her husband's cancer has spread. He is moving into hospice care today. I comfort myself with the knowledge that they will be together, but my heart absolutely aches for my friend's daughter, who cared for her mother, and now her stepfather with everything she had. How much is one person expected to handle? Fucking cancer...
I suppose that is really the biggest news in my life since last I wrote. I promise to try to do better at staying on top of this blogging thing. *pinky swear*
I suppose I can try to justify this by saying that I don't have much to share! Things are status quo, which, in many ways I am thankful for. I also know that there aren't many (if any) people reading my blog, so I don't feel much pressure to be interesting. Which is a relief.
Wedding-wise - the actual, honest-to-God end is in sight. I have about three thank you notes left to write. This weekend we have our album design meeting. Then it will all be done. I think i'll hold off on having babies just so that I can take a break from writing thank you notes! I kid, of course. We are so lucky to have such amazingly generous friends and family.
We are heading into the holiday season, which is the most exciting time of year for me. However, as anyone who has blended families knows, the splitting the holidays thing is difficult. It actually causes me an extraordinary amount of anxiety because I am so desperate to not hurt anyone's feelings. Hub is an only-child which complicates things exponentially. I have to keep reminding myself what my Dad always says when I get worked up about the holidays - "No one cares about this as much as you do." He's right, of course.
There has been some sadness in my time away. My dear friend Nancy, who was like a mom to me, passed away in September. The story is long and confusing and just tragic. Quick version - her husband was diagnosed with lung cancer last April. In May, Nancy was diagnosed as well, though it seemed that her prognosis was better than his. We prepared ourselves that we would likely lose him. They missed the wedding because Nancy was having surgery to remove her lung, which was supposed to remove the cancer all together. There was an infection that complicated things, followed by the discovery of a spot in her brain, which we were told could be removed. On September 12th in the morning I recieved an email that the cancer had spread everywhere. The doctors couldn't stop it and they gave her days, maybe weeks at best to live. She died at around noon that very day. It was incredibly, gut-wrenchingly tragic. Only to be made that much more tragic by the fact that her husband's cancer has spread. He is moving into hospice care today. I comfort myself with the knowledge that they will be together, but my heart absolutely aches for my friend's daughter, who cared for her mother, and now her stepfather with everything she had. How much is one person expected to handle? Fucking cancer...
I suppose that is really the biggest news in my life since last I wrote. I promise to try to do better at staying on top of this blogging thing. *pinky swear*
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